Lovers outwork workers

“Lovers outwork workers.”  This was the phrase I remembered when I first heard Mike Bickle speak at the CALL in 2003.  He said that those who are in love with God will actually do more work for him than those who have a “worker” mentality.  Therefore, he declared it extremely important that we encounter God’s beauty to sustain believers in the work of the kingdom.

Although, this simple but powerful concept marked my heart years ago, in recent times I had forgotten about it.  But about a month ago a friend shared a dream where she saw me in a lethargic state.  I was sleeping during a time when I needed to be active and moving to help minister to someone.  As she tried to get me up, she saw that my hands were covered with a sticky black substance.  After removing it from my hands, I was able to get up and go with her to do ministry.

After she shared her dream, she explained that she felt like the black substance that was holding me down was because I was serving God out of a worker mentality more than a lover.  Without knowing, she told me exactly what I had heard from 2003: “Lovers outwork workers.”  I knew that the Lord was speaking to me through her to remember to return to my first love.  My heart had grown cold in the midst of the busyness of ministry.  So I committed myself to placing the Lord before me and doing my responsibilities as an act of love God.

The interesting thing is, the worker and lover can look the same externally.  They both do the same ministry, however, the lover has a deeper heart connect with the work and can sustain the intensity of ministry for the long term.  So I encourage you, whether you are in full-time ministry, the marketplace, in school, a parent, or a missionary, place loving God at the forefront of your life.  Everything else will fall into place when you do that.  ”But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33).

 

The benefits of good boundaries

So in continuation from my last blog about dating and relationships I decided to share a few thoughts on boundaries.  Sometimes people may think boundaries are unnecessary when you are “in love.”  Some would go so far to say that God loves without boundaries as seen when Jesus laid down his life.  Although Jesus did lay down his life, this action was not without boundaries.  Those who do not respond to Jesus’ action of great love are actually condemned and punished.  ”Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son” (John 3:18).  Judgment comes upon those who do not respond in faith to the love action of God in giving his son to the world.  We have to remember that the above verse comes after John 3:16.  God’s love is never without boundaries, but requires an action and response on our part.  God loves with boundaries.

All that to say, I am a firm believer in establishing good boundaries in relationships.  ”Julia” established some clear boundaries for us during the three month time of not dating (no one-on-ones and no phone calls).  We could still hang out in groups, but the boundaries were established to protect both of our hearts from getting too connected when we did not want to date.  And it was wisdom.  Initially the boundaries were hard for me because I wanted to spend time with Julia and get to know her one on one.  But after some time passed, I realized that this is really healthy.  And now our friendship is really good and vibrant.  I feel that our relationship has been pure and pleasing before the Lord and that we honored one another and respected each other enough to follow the boundaries.  Here are some bullet point thoughts on boundaries:

1.  Saying “no” helps retain one’s individuality - “No” may be the most important word that someone can learn how to say.  Some people have no problem saying no, but many fear saying no because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.  But saying “no” is absolutely critical to keeping one’s self intact in a relationship.  It is easy to succumb to the other person’s interests, food preferences, vision, etc. in the name of “loving them” and “serving them.”  But that is not loving them, it is being dishonest and cowardly.  Saying “no” is critical in relationships because it is being honest with how you are feeling and what your beliefs are.  And many times, we need space from each other in order to figure out what we want and who we are as individuals.  That way when we do come back together, each person can bring their whole self and not be amalgamated into an amorphous blob of “the couple.”

2.  Communicate your boundaries clearly - Anytime one of you in the relationship feels uncomfortable about a particular situation or conversation topic, it is important to share and communicate that discomfort.  Many times people have the thought “oh its just me.  I need to get over it and its not a big deal.”  But it is important to acknowledge your discomfort and express it to the other person.  They may not have the faintest idea that something bothers you and makes you uncomfortable.  And it is your job to let them know so that together you both can work on a solution.

3.  Following through on boundaries reveals respect for one another - When a particular boundary is established in the relationship, it is absolutely imperative that this boundary is followed.  When someone says, “I don’t want to kiss at this point in the relationship.”  That means “no kissing.”  This can change once you communicate together that the boundary can be changed, but not before.  And it means taking someone’s “yes” to be “yes” and their “no” to be “no.”  Words have a lot of weight to them, and in our over-abundance of words and the cacophonous noise they make we have forgotten that.  The day of “my word is my bond” have become old fashioned, but we need to return to following through on the promises and the words that we make.

4.   Boundaries can change as the relationship changes - Boundaries are not always meant to be permanent.  As the relationship progresses, new boundaries can be communicated and followed as are appropriate to the level of closeness that the relationship is at.  It would make absolutely no sense for married couples to hold onto to the “no kissing” boundary that may have been established when they first met each other.  So as the relationship progresses communicate and talk about what works for you as a couple.  There are obvious boundaries that should be implemented in all relationships (honoring each other with your speech; not having outbursts of anger in disagreement, but coming back together to talk after calming down; honesty; appropriate physical boundaries – so for single people no sex before marriage; etc.).  Use common sense and make sure you communicate with the other person.

And if you ever get the chance to, check out Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.  It is a great resource that talks about establishing good boundaries with your friends, in marriage, with family, with yourself and also with God.  So I hope this was helpful.  Working on boundaries takes time, effort, and learning from mistakes.  But if you keep working at them in your relationships you are on your way to a healthier and happier you!

My recent relational journey

So my experiences in dating have been very few and limited, so please note that I am not speaking as an expert in this field.  I am just sharing my own experiences and perspectives.  And I know that they will probably change and morph as time progresses.

So about three months ago I started to become interested in a girl who I will call “Julia” for now (note this is not her real name).  We began to get involved in similar worship teams and got the chance to hang out in groups a couple of times.  And after about three weeks of getting to know her, I decided that I couldn’t wait any longer and had to ask her out.  Some of my friends told me that I should wait before telling her my feelings, but I didn’t listen to them and just went for it.  (note f0r men: even if your friends are right, sometimes you have to just go for it and do what you got to do).  And after telling her that I would like to take her on a date, she expressed that she did like me back (Yes!), but that she didn’t want to date during this season of her life.  But she gave me about a three month window after which time, she would consider if she would like to go out with me then.

So her answer was a maybe and I was ok with that.  It was still hard because I had shared my feelings and felt like now that everything was out there, I had to slow down a little bit and wait.  I felt like I was a dog on a leash who was running full speed and then finally got jerked back because the leash became taut.  But a lot of my friends encouraged me to be patient and continue to be “Julia’s” friend.  So we still hung out in groups and were able to be friends.  At a couple different points we talked and I asked if she really needed to have that three month time of waiting.  And each time she said that she really needed this time to deeper in God and have some space.  So I respected her wishes and set onto the task of waiting.

And through these past couple of months, I have realized that my perspective on dating and relationships have changed.  I feel like the Lord is renewing my mind from the selfish ways that I viewed dating.  Initially I thought Julia was really pretty and wanted to go out on a date with her.  A lot of the motivation was selfish and me-focused.  However, as I have become Julia’s friend and continued to hear from God, my heart towards her has changed.  I want to be a good friend to her.  I want to grow in serving her and helping make her great.

I think about the Lord’s leadership over our lives and how he serves us daily and his leadership is really gentle.  And he does everything in his power to make us great.  And when I saw God as a servant, I realized that my whole view of dating was skewed.  I saw dating as primarily as something that benefits me.  But more and more I want to serve my friend Julia.  And I realized that this perspective is not mine.  This way of thinking can only come from the Lord.  Because the way I think draws from the world, where relationships is about the gushy feelings, romance, and getting stuff for yourself.  But the way of the kingdom is the way of servanthood, love and humility.

And even if Julia and I never date, we can still be friends and grow in servanthood.  And if we end up dating and it not working out where we break up, I want us to still be good friends.  I have seen too many breakups end where both parties are devastated and scarred.  But I really want every person that I meet, to come away from our interaction and think “I saw more of Jesus through Han Man.”  Therefore, I want my friendship with Julia to exude the fragrance of Christ’s love and humility.  Even if we do date and end up breaking up, I want her to come away from the relationship and say I feel more edified and desire to draw nearer to the Lord.

I also realized that friendship is the common denominator in every stage of a relationship that leads to marriage.  First, two people meet and start to get to know each other and develop a friendship.  And this friendship continues at a deeper level when they decide to date.  Then the engagement is also a friendship and when people get married, they ultimately end up living life with their best friend.  Therefore, when I shifted my perspective from “I just want to go out with Julia” to “I want to be Julia’s friend,” my heart became more at ease and I wasn’t worried about what would happen in the future.  So through this season I am grateful for the way that the Lord has been renewing my mind and freeing me from wrong patterns of thinking concerning dating and relationships.

The Nightwatch consecration and fasting

On Sept. 8, 2011 the Nightwatch prayer section at IHOP-KC started a three month consecration where we wanted to give ourselves to beholding the beauty of God and to refraining from talking with one another during the 12am-6am unless it pertained to the leadership of the prayer room.  And initially I scoffed at the consecration and thought it was unnecessary.  I thought that I didn’t need to participate in this consecration because I hardly talked during 12am-6am.  But the Lord had other ideas because a friend of mine called me out on my scoffing heart and called me to give myself to what the Lord was doing in our midst.

So I repented and decided to join the consecration.  I also wanted to start fasting as well, so I decided to eat 1.5 meals a day Mon-Sat and have Sundays off where I could eat normally.  And I had four areas that I wanted God to speak to me about.

1.  Encountering God – I wanted to experience God more and have dreams and visions.  I realized that I had lost my zeal for wanting God to reveal himself to me in supernatural ways, and I wanted that desire renewed.
2.  Relationships – I wanted God to speak to me about relationships and give me more wisdom especially as I was talking with a particular girl and considering dating.
3.  Vocation – I wanted a greater understanding and more strength as a intercessory missionary.  I wanted to have greater understanding on the power of prayer.
4.  Family – I wanted to see my family restored in their relationships.

As I began to give myself to the rest of the Nightwatch consecration, God began answering these four areas for me.  I began to have dreams that had pretty significant meaning to me.  I also began to have my mind renewed about the lies I believed about relationships.  Also I began to have a greater understanding of my calling as an intercessor.  Though I have not seen the last area answered, just the faith that I have that God can restore my family is a testimony in itself.

I had forgotten about the power of fasting during my past couple of years at IHOP.  But this fast has been such a pivotal season for me, and I am so grateful that the Lord is speaking to me and answering my prayers.  I really encourage you, that if you feel led, to start a fast.  It doesn’t have to be much, it could be fasting one meal a day, or even just eating fruits and vegetables.  But I really believe that fasting is powerful and I am so grateful to God for hearing my cries.

Hello world!

So after a four month hiatus from my blog, I have returned!  I know, I’m being quite dramatic.  But I thought I’ll give a quick update on my life cause a lot has happened.  As always I’ll summarize in list form:

1.  Transitioned from part-time staff to full-time – Since graduating from IHOPU, I have been on part-time staff at IHOP.  But I decided that I wanted to transition into being on full-time.  After taking a prayer retreat at a monastery, I realized that I would like to give more of my time and energy into being an intercessory missionary.  Initially I was afraid that by switching to full-time, I would lose a lot of time and completely swamped with responsibilities.  But once I made the change, it has been so enjoyable and amazing.

2.  Got over a 3-4 month long sickness during the winter - From December to about March, I was sick with a sinus infection that would not go away.  I ended up being really tired, unable to focus, and quite depressed.  And I was really struggling during this season.  But I kept reminding myself that each day is new and to forget the past and press forward to seeking God.  This really helped me and when I got better, I was able to get back into the flow of my life again.

3.  Joined a worship team on the Nightwatch - After being off a nighwatch worship team for 3 1/2 years, I decided to join a worship team about 3 months ago.  I had been frustrated playing on a worship team years ago because I wasn’t very confident as a musician and felt out of synch with how playing electric guitar connected with prayer.  I really just wanted to be in the prayer room without having to play an instrument.  So I took a break and thought I would never return.  I almost sold my gear, but a couple of friends convinced me that someday I would regret it if I sold my guitar and pedals.  So I kept them and then a couple of months ago, I felt the desire to play my guitar again.  So I decided to take lessons and improve my skill.  I also bought a new guitar and some pedals and now I feel much more confident when I play.  I also feel more purposeful with God as I play my instrument and see it as a time where I can not only have fun, but prophesy on my instrument.  I am amazed at how much the Lord has changed my perspective on music.  And I am really enjoying playing.  I never thought that playing close to 20 hrs. live a week could be this enjoyable.

4.  Contentment - Back when I was in my teens, I had a pretty pessimistic attitude towards life.  My picture of the future was hardly ever rosy.  But nowadays, I am really content and happy with my life.  I am doing the things that I really enjoy.  Seeking the Lord in prayer and the word, playing music, leading a small group of people to grow in God, and even taking a yoga class.  I am really grateful to be at IHOP as an intercessory missionary and I am grateful for all God’s benefits.  He truly is good to me.

 

So that’s a short summary of what have been going on in my life.  And hopefully I can continue to blog and keep writing about the Acts of God, and other things.  I won’t be writing about the IHOP basketball league because I’ve stopped playing because of an injury I sustained during one of our games.  :(  But look forward to more blogs to come!

My surprise visit to my mom to Columbus, OH on for her birthday

The Exodus – God wants to be with you

The Exodus account is probably the most significant event in Israel’s national history.  It was the first time God acted with miraculous signs and wonders for a specific nation.  The people of Israel were delivered from centuries of enslavement at the hands of the Egyptians.  The effects of this event is seen by the numerous references back to the Exodus in Israel’s psalms and writings (e.g., Ps. 77, 78, 103, 105).  But why did God do it?  What was the purpose behind bringing them out of Egypt?

Moses’ gives the explanation when he speaks to Pharaoh: “The LORD, the God of the Hebrews, has sent me to say to you: Let my people go, so that they may worship me in the wilderness” (Ex. 7:16).  He gives this explanation multiple times to Pharaoh and then God further defines in after they come out of Egypt.  “Then I will dwell among the Israelites and be their God.  They will know that I am the LORD their God, who brought them out of Egypt so that I may dwell among them.  I am the LORD their God.

The reason God brought the Israelites is not only that they might worship them, but that he might dwell with his people.  In other words God wants a home and a family where I can spend time with.  He wants to stay and be near to his people.  But the question still remains, so what does the Exodus have to do with me?

The Exodus reveals that God wants to be with you.  He wants to establish his residence with you, spend time with you and be family together.  That is what it means by “dwelling.”  God is not angry with you or grudgingly spending time with you until you are perfect.  But right now, in the midst of weaknesses and brokenness he wants to dwell with you.  He goes through great lengths so that he can spend time with you.  He displayed his mighty power to deliver Israel from bondage and deep pain.  And he does the same for you.  He will move every mountain and cross every valley to be with you.

Finals – Orange vs. Blue

With the semifinal victory, we played Blue team for the championship.  This was difficult for Orange because we had just played the semifinal game a couple minutes before the finals.  Also Blue team was undefeated in the regular season.  They had a plethora of good shooters as well as slashers.  When we played them in the regular season we lost by three points in overtime.  We were hoping to put up a good effort.

We began the game a bit tired and off balance.  Blue team was able to break down our defense with their dribble penetration and solid outside shooting.  By the end of the 1st half we were down by 15 points.  Our problems on defense continued and this led to some frustrations within our team.  One of our players in frustration threatened to leave the game.  But after cooling down, he was able to finish.  We played hard throughout the game, but were unable to handle Blue team’s superior athleticism and outside shooting.  The final score was 82-62.

It was a great season for Orange team and I had a blast playing in the league.  This was my first full season of playing “organized basketball” and I’m glad for the experience.  I’ve learned a lot about myself and was able to see how the Lord has matured me.  I no longer get easily frustrated when I play poorly as I know that my identity is not rooted in my performance in athletics.  I was able to feel God’s pleasure particularly in my attitude throughout the season.  Praise the Lord.

Semifinals – Orange vs. White

After the quarterfinal win last Wednesday, Orange team faced another game the following day against White team.  During the regular season White team defeated us by about 20 points.  However, in that game we did not have our entire roster and particularly our 6’7” center.

We played extremely well on both ends of the floor and ended the first half tied 20-20.  Then in the second half, the White team was able to get to the basket more easily and we were losing by five points.  However, Orange team in typical fashion battled back and through defense were able to get the win over white with the final score of 87-77.

I scored 6 points shooting 2-7.  After defeating White team we were to play Blue team for the finals.

Body for life update

After completing the two weeks of Body for life I came down with a sinus infection and took two weeks to recover.  During this time I came across another exercise program which I have decided to stick to for the foreseeable future.  But also during this time I came to a few conclusions about the whole exercise world and particularly weight lifting world.

1.  Making healthy living a lifestyle – I realized that so many programs are 12 weeks long and promise to “change your life.”  And granted with commitment and hard work many health changes can be made.  However, this “get fit quick” mentality is not great for the long term.  It is important to have a more holistic view of exercise and put it in the proper perspective.  It can be easy to become obsessed with the health craze and though it is important to be healthy, it should always be secondary to following God and loving him.

2.  Many fitness programs have ulterior motives – Many fitness programs want to get your money.  So they market their supplements, protein shakes, clothing accessories, and a whole host of other products.  They are not just about providing for you a good workout program, but they want to convince you to buy all the rest of their stuff.  Don’t fall for these marketing schemes.  Most of the time you do not need what they tell you.

3.  Stick to a plan and write down your progress – After switching through multiple fitness plans I realized it is good to just stick to something and be consistent.  Continuing to do a regular plan is important particularly on the days when you don’t want to go to the gym.  Also writing down progress has two fold importance.  1.  It helps you keep track of what you did last workout time, so that you can improve.  2.  It also helps you stay motivated.  When you see that you are improving it provides added incentive to go exercise.

Those are some of my thoughts, feel free to comment and tell me what fitness plan you are doing or deciding to do!

Quarterfinals – Orange vs. Yellow

This week the IHOP Basketball League playoffs begun.  We only have five players who were able to make the game due to scheduling conflict.  So we really had to conserve energy and play hard.  Yellow team who has played really well during the season was going to be a tough opponent.  They had many close games where they had only lost be a couple of points, thus we knew that we had to play well.

The first half started well as we were able to get to a 13 point lead by the end of the first half.  We played good defense and were able to get easy looks at the basket through good ball movement.  The second half was a different story.  They began to pressure the ball and were able to come back and take the lead with two minutes left in the game.  We were also having some mis-communication.  We turned the ball over multiple times during this half.

However, we were able to make a couple of key defensive stops and were able to win the game by four points.  The final score was 67-63.

I did not play well this game as I went 0-7 shooting.  However, I was able to make a critical free throw with 10 seconds to go to put our team up by four points.  The semi-finals and finals will be played today as we go against top ranked white team.  It should be a great game.